Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Day 22: Count Your Many Blessings

There's really nothing new to report. Everything's the same. My counts haven't come up, most of my rashes are gone, and we are just waiting for my stomach to start wanting food and a couple small rashes to fade away.

I slept a really long time last night, but in segments. Between trips to the bathroom—I have to suppose I still have a bit of a bladder infection—and medicine and vitals, I only sleep 1-2 hours at most. Each time I woke up, however, I was more depressed.

So when the nurse came in this morning and asked how I felt, I told her I felt terrible. I told her there was nothing wrong, I just felt terrible. Everything I put in my mouth tasted like my mouth, and my mouth tastes blah.

The nurse told me I was probably entitled to one blah day.

So I laid down, and I heard that song in my mind: "Count Your Many Blessings; Count Them One by One."

So I did, beginning with my children and my wife, I started counting my blessings, and I immediately started crying. My wife, who had just heard me talking with the nurse, asked what was wrong and came and laid down in the bed next to me. Once I got my voice I told her what I was thinking. We just laid there, and I recounted in my mind all the wonderful adventures I've gotten to live on this earth.

I've never been all that good a person. I've had problems with addictions, and, as a younger man, with a temper that was dangerous. But since the day I met Christ, I've believed that if I turned my life over to him, what he would produce would be far better than anything I could have hoped for. So I've walked away from my own hopes, dreams, and my own use of time, to pursue whatever I believed he was putting in front of me to do.

Boy, has that paid off!

He let me find the church. He let me live with people who helped me deal with my anger. He showed me the problems with my ideas of righteousness, and I watched as he taught us as a church to learn his righteousness, a righteousness based in love, understanding, and an ability to make a difference in a person's life.

I have a lot to give thanks for. My depression is gone, though I can't say I have any physical energy at the moment.

So, here at Vanderbilt we're hanging out waiting for blood counts to rise, and giving thanks to God for his many blessings.


  1. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

  2. "When everything seems to bog you down, when you're feeling lost with no place to go...'Count your blessings one by one', within you Hope begins to flow." (the ending of one of my poems) You have so many blessings, you are on THE adventure of a lifetime, you are so so many...and you are filled to overflowing with the spirit of life, which is our God. (Even the hero has to have a blah day now and then.) "Because He lives, we can face tomorrow" is one of my favorite phrases to sing also. Hang in there! We love you much, and miss you. Thank you so much for the upkeep of your blog that we can all share this adventure with you!

  3. I love that song, too, Mom! (Because he lives)

  4. I am so grateful that we got to spend time with you yesterday. Thank you for being YOU. Thank God He gave us the opportunity to drop everything to be with you.

    I love you my friend!

  5. Thanks, Tara. It would be an understatement to say you guys really picked me up. The time was simply wonderful.

  6. Papa Shammah,

    What a beautiful post... Made me cry:-) Thank you! You blessed us!
    Whenever I think of you, I remember that song, I HAVE DECIDED TO FOLLOW JESUS, NO TURNING BACK, NO TURNING BACK... I remember you teaching me that song (off key and all) when I was just a child:-) I had never heard it sung before... To this day, I still LOVE hearing you sing that song with all your heart! And whenever I sing it on my own, I always can hear you singing it with me:-) The song is very special to me because of that...
    I love you & I'm root'n for you!


  7. Thanks, Chasah! I loved singing to all you brilliant little singers, when I couldn't sing on key at all. Fun times.