Dare I write this on a day that the church in Nakuru is facing a tragic death? The husbands of one of the most active church members was killed in a hit and run accident, run over by a semi as he drove his motorcycle home.
My heart goes out, but I do dare write this.
There have been those who are somewhat offended, though in a friendly way, by my request not to pray for me to be healed, at least not rapidly. In the case of those who feel compelled to pray for my healing because their charismatic or pentecostal doctrine requires them to believe that God always heals, I think what they do not realize is that leukemia can't kill me.
Until yesterday, I completely forgot to consider the possibility that I could die because of leukemia. So yesterday I considered it for a moment, then dismissed it.
Leukemia doesn't kill saints. Guns don't kill saints. Hit and run drivers don't kill saints.
God calls saints home, in his time and by his will.
(A couple of really good passages on the subject are Isaiah 57:1-2 and Psalm 116:15.)
Leukemia's a tool. I'm surprised at just how powerful a tool it is. I had no idea of the power of the very word!
Leukemia ... it rings of tragedy; it silences most conversations.
Oh, there's worse diseases; a lot worse. But the simple fact is that when you mention you have leukemia, at least in Tennessee in the USA, everyone turns the conversation over to you.
And I turn the conversation over to joy and to faith in God.
It makes an impact on people in a very believable, powerful way.
Why would I want you to take that tool away? Why would God want to take that tool away?
If you think that leukemia can kill me, then I commend you for your love and kindness in praying that the leukemia would go away. But I encourage you to believe, with the Scriptures and with God Almighty, that it cannot.
If you would like to pray that I don't die. Feel free. It is better to depart and be with Christ, but I am aware that it's better for a lot of people, especially my family, if I stay, as long as for me, living is really Christ.
But don't pray the leukemia goes away! Leukemia doesn't have the power to be the cause of a saint's death!
(On the phrase, "living is really Christ," see Colossians, which I just read again last night. What an awesome description of what it means that "to live is Christ.")
Finally, a bit of news. I'm in Nashville at a hotel. I'm going to Vanderbilt in less than 2 hours to do some processing, then see the doctor at 10 am. I feel like I know less than I ever knew! The last I heard, the diagnosis of acute leukemia is valid except that it could perhaps be an aggressive form of lymphoma. I was also told that they want to take a look at my "dendritic cells," not to be confused, for those of you that are well informed, with the dendrites of the nervous system. They have to know what cells are the source of the malignancy, so that they can give me chemo that will destroy the correct cells.
Maybe there will be more news in a few hours.
Thanks to all of you who are actually reading all this! I was a little surprised to hear how many friends and relatives are. I am still overwhelmed daily by everyone's love.
Let me finish by suggesting the following 3-minute video concerning speaking with conviction about what you believe. I really like it. The rest of Taylor Mali's videos are really prone to being risque, so I can't tell you to see his others, but this one is really awesome.