Going to Vanderbilt in morning. Couple appointments to prep for chemo, then I'll be admitted. My brother and my children will try to visit Saturday so that we can watch the Women's World Cup finals (soccer). It's USA vs. Japan! Looks to be a great matchup!
Normally, I can't watch anything like that. No TV at home. I hope I'm well enough to watch this one.
Had friends over tonight, and we talked together about what I've learned from this leukemia. What was really neat was that Stephen told me that Stephen Kaung--a 95-year-old man who is still a great teacher and who was with Watchman Nee in China--had said a lot of the same things in a lot of the same words in a sermon Stephen (not Kaung, but my friend) had heard yesterday or today.
That was neat.
Some Thoughts on Leukemia in General
I probably have mentioned already that I found out that in 1966 the average survival time for people diagnosed with acute leukemia was 40 DAYS. We've come a long way!
I do understand why, though. I don't think of my life being in danger at the moment, but the fact is, I needed a transfusion today. Yesterday I laid down for a nap, and I had to shift around to feel like I could breathe right. I had to remind myself that I believe God said I'm going to live because it really seemed like I could easily not wake up from that nap.
I don't think that's true, or the doctors would have ordered the transfusion earlier. But looking at my numbers and how fast they drop, I don't have any problems believing that I'd probably be dead in 21 days without blood from someone else. At the rates I'm losing red blood cells, I would have literally had zero is less than 6 weeks.
But, it's not 1966, and God is in control of all things, no matter what sort of questions that raises concerning the history of mankind and nature in general. I have acute leukemia in 2011, and survival rates are pushing up to 50% at 5 years (better in some situations, worse in others).
And my prognosis doesn't lean on statistics, but on God.
The lesson in all this, as I told my friends tonight, is that we need to live right now. God will meet us right now, not tomorrow. Tomorrow never comes, remember? When you get up tomorrow, it will be today. Jesus said not to take thought for tomorrow, so he's not going to satisfy your questions about tomorrow. You're not supposed to be fretting over it, right?
So today is a really wonderful day. Leukemia is a wonderful adventure with great lessons, great friends, and great open doors for the Gospel ... no, even more, for the wonderful, joyous, exuberant, and often quiet love of Jesus.
That really loud love of Jesus is often nothing but a religious show.
Enough philosophizing. I need to go to bed and let tomorrow become today!
Oh, wait. One more. A friend of mine likes to say, "We are no longer adding to today. We are taking away from tomorrow. Let's go to bed."
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